A Very Corgi Morning
Do your pets have morning routines? What is their favorite part of the day? The corgis are most affectionate in the morning—each day they act as if they haven’t seen me in years! It’s one of the things I love about dogs. Here’s a typical corgi weekday:
The day starts at 4:55, when the corgi’s person makes her way down the stairs. It’s still dark out, so they have no idea why she would bother getting up. Nonetheless, Yoda obediently greets her while Leia lifts her head to the irritating kitchen light, yawns, and cozies back in bed.
Yoda watches from afar as his person makes coffee, breakfast, and lunch—he has to make sure everything is in order. If his person does anything out of routine, he lets out an alarming bark to let her know it. He only approaches when the ice cube dispenser is activated, at which point he runs over to catch any ice cube casualties that hit the floor.
Leia remains in bed.
Soon, the corgis’ other person descends to the kitchen. The corgis both give him a quick howl, but he heads straight for
the coffee machine while their first person continues making and packing lunch. At this point, the Leia deigns to get out of bed, and the corgis lie parallel to each other, watching both people with deadpan seriousness. Getting ready in the morning is, after all, a serious business.
After the corgis’ other person leaves for work—that’s when the fun starts! The corgis get to race down the stairs and run outside. Sometimes, if they’re lucky, there are moths or bugs on the patio that they can chase. Sometimes there are even birds in the garden or squirrels on the fence. Those are the best kinds of mornings. The corgis race to the edge of their domain, ears perked and ready to defend against those pesky creatures of the suburbs.
Like a good dog, Yoda does his business in a timely manner and comes back to the door. With Leia, it all depends. If the grass is too tall, it is okay to chase squirrels or birds in, but it’s not okay to use the bathroom in. If the grass is too dewy, it’s okay to chase bugs across, but it’s not okay to use the bathroom in. If it’s too hot outside or the wind is blowing in from the north… well, you get the idea. On days like this, stubborn Leia’s person comes out and points at her, directing her to do her business.
She responds by coming right over and rolling onto her back, submissive. But it’s not submission, not really. It’s a challenge. Leia’s person has tried time and again to beat her in a test of wills, but Leia held out once for 23 minutes. That’s a long chunk of a person’s morning. So now, whenever Leia flips on her back, she is promptly put on a leash and taken out to the front yard, where she will take care of her business in about two seconds flat and prance back inside, happy to be given special treatment—and happy to have trained her person so efficiently.
When the corgis return inside, it’s all cuddles and jealousy, fighting for their person’s attention. Leia gets so excited that she has to find her “growly rope,” which she chomps down on to release her excess excitement (otherwise she accidentally bites her person, and that never makes for a good morning). When the corgis settle down, their person asks them, “Are you hungry?” They lick their lips simultaneously, which always seems to entertain their person for some reason. Then the eating begins.
Yoda eats at a steady pace, not hurried yet not leisurely. As he nears the end of his bowl, he often growls at his sister—for good reason. Leia eats at an uneven pace, waiting for her brother to start, and then digging in with the speed (and sound effects) of a ravenous pig. She finishes first and puts her ears into full-alert mode, stalking her brother and his dish. As soon as he finishes, she rushes to his empty dish and licks it clean just in case it wasn’t already.
By this time, the corgis’ person is usually sitting at the counter for breakfast. Yoda rushes to her left and Leia rushes to her right. They look up expectantly. They’re corgis, after all, and demand attention. Their person pets them each with her toes—for a minute or two. And then she has the audacity to stop! Yoda makes his disapproval known with a low “wooo.” If it is ignored, the “wooo” is upgraded to an all-out howl, repeated in short intervals until his person realizes her mistake and continues petting him with her toe.
Leia is less vocal, though no less insistent. When her person makes the mistake of ignoring her, Leia claws her softly with her paws, increasing the duration and intensity of the clawing until her person succumbs to petting. Then, the corgis wait. They listen carefully to their person’s sounds. Their ears have become so attuned to the noises of human eating that they know when their person is finished. And when that final sound rings—whether it’s the dropping of a fork on a plate, or the scraping of a napkin against a cheek, they jump from their blissful petting and compete for a prime mooching spot. Sometimes their person puts a plate down on the floor, and they can lick scraps of egg or the last bit of milk from a cereal bowl. But sometimes their person says nasty things like, “I’m not giving you guys syrup” or “there’s nothing to lick off this plate.” Those phrases are unacceptable, and the corgis let their person know it by drawing their ears back and making their eyes look as cute and pathetic as possible.
Their person is then required to give them a cookie. It works every time. She even sometimes lets them do tricks for the treats, and tricks make the cookies taste even better!
After breakfast, their person sometimes goes to the couch to read for a bit. If this is the case, the corgis fight over who gets to sit closest to her head. Yoda usually jumps onto the couch first, curling up at her feet. Not to be outdone, Leia jumps onto her person’s lap, sometimes trying to nose her way between her person and her person’s book (that never turns out well for Leia).
But sometimes their person goes to the kitchen table to type on that glowing screen she likes so much. If this is the case, Yoda howls in excitement, and Leia grabs her growly rope and wiggles her body in happiness. They vie for the prime spot right up against the table’s center pillar, where they can—you guessed it—howl or paw at their person until she pets them with her toes while typing away on that glowing screen.
Unfortunately, even the happiest of corgi mornings has to come to an end. Many mornings, their person goes upstairs to get dressed and go to a thing called work. She must like it a lot, for she’s always there. But the corgis don’t mind too much. By the time their person leaves, they’ve had quite a lot of fun, and they’re ready for their early-morning nap. Sometimes, in the early summer, their person stops going to work, and it annoys the corgis for the first few days. How are they supposed to nap with their person home all the time? Chasing her around the house and making sure she’s following her normal routines is tiring work as it is—and doing that full-time can be quite draining.
Luckily, the corgis get to rest all day so that when their person returns from work, they’re two bundles of energy ready to do it all over again!
So what about you? Do your pets have morning routines? Quirks? Comment below to share!