Monthly Archives: December 2012
So, there’s this really scary thing… the Big Scary. It glows, and it’s big, and it has these scary shiny things all over it, and it seems like it never goes away!
I don’t understand. It looks like a tree, but it isn’t real, and I certainly can’t pee on it (I’m much too scared to even try). Almost as scary are all the big plastic tubs that emerge when the Big Scary comes. One of them smells like pine cones, and another smells like cinnamon. And they have these frightening jingly things in them. I hate when my Person takes out the boxes. The only thing they’re good for is hiding behind. But they don’t stay out as long as the Big Scary. And when the boxes go away, I have nowhere to hide.
Which is what I do pretty much the whole time my person is decorating the Big Scary.
Even worse is the fact that my sister likes to explore the Big Scary. She’s always nosing around the packages underneath. Often she gets yelled at for knocking round shiny things off the Big Scary. And when she gets yelled at, I’m the one who gets upset. She tells me that one of the packages under the Big Scary smells like bacon treats, but I don’t buy that at all. But since I’m her big brother, I have to watch her and make sure she’s okay… as much as it terrifies me. So I watch her from on top of the stairs. I just keep real quiet, though. That way the Big Scary can’t hear me. My Person tells me I need to relax, but I don’t understand how anyone can be relaxed with a Big Scary decorating their living room!
Last year, the Big Scary eventually went away. But it took a long, long time. Maybe if I keep watching it, I can make it leave. Until then, we’ll all just have to be careful. Seasons Greetings, and I hope you never wake to find a Big Scary in your house.
Editor’s Note: Yoda is the kind-hearted, but hesitant, corgi inspiration behind the character Zeph in the Corgi Capers mystery series.
Note: this post was written in response to Yoda’s post.
My favorite time of year is Christmastime. It’s the end of the year, and my Person gets to stay home for like a week and a half, and I get to follow her around the house, and I get to play almost all the time. It makes me so happy, I feel like a kid at Christmas, Christmas, Christmas!
The best thing about Christmas is the tree. It’s this giant, glowing plaything my Person puts up just for me. She hangs these things at the bottom for me to play with. She calls them “Unbreakable, just for you.” I don’t know why. But when I get excited, I knock them off and push them around with my nose. Then I get to watch as my person digs them out from under the tree and hangs them back up again for me. It’s a fun game!
The other best thing about Christmastime is that my stupid brother is afraid of everything—for a change! He won’t even come near the tree. He watches me from atop the stairs, and it’s great being able to play by myself. Here’s why: one or two of the packages under the tree smell like they have bacon treats in them, and I know I can get them and open them if I just try. The problem is, if I start to nose through the packages too much, or if I start to tear off some of the shiny wrapping paper, my stupid brother howls his “tattletale howl,” and our Person comes running over to take the package away from me. But one day, I tell you, one day I’ll sneak over there and open the package when no one is looking. And then those bacon treats will all be mine!
The other best thing about Christmas is all the people and activity. While my brother prefers to hide out in his crate, I take advantage of all the fun. Here’s a picture of me and my best friend. He put me inside of a bag, and it was the most fun I had that hour!
Here’s a picture of me opening all the presents. I love when people start to rip open packages. I just nose my way right in and tear up some of the paper. There’s nothing so fun!
Here’s a picture of me sitting on my best friend’s legs. That way, if he tries to open up any other packages, I’ll be ready and waiting.
And here’s a picture of my fraidy-dog brother. The People tried to give him a package of cookies wrapped in tissue paper, but he was too scared to rip it open. You can just see the fear in his eyes. A few seconds after the picture was taken, he high-tailed it back up into the kitchen to hide out in his crate. He doesn’t know what he’s missing!
Here’s my favorite picture. My People put two fluffy beds under the tree. They said it was “to encourage Yoda not to be afraid.” But what do they know? Yoda was just as scared as ever. Know what that means? Both beds are mine!
Happy Christmas to you, and I hope your Christmas as exciting as mine, mine, mine! And now, I hear something jingling out there—I’m off!
Editor’s Note: Leia is the capricious, perpetual puppy that inspires the character Sapphie in the Corgi Capers mystery series. Her antics always make for an interesting plot!