Monthly Archives: March 2012
What’s So Good About “Being Good”?
I know it’s Adam’s turn to introduce himself today, but I don’t care. I have something to say, and I’m going to say it now, now, now!
Last night, when our People put us in our crates, they latched mine nice and tightly, but they didn’t latch Zeph’s all the way. When he turned around on his blanket, the door popped open. You know what I would do if my door popped open? I would spend all night running around the kitchen in big circles. I would try to knock over that delicious smelly thing that people call Trash, and I’d eat as much of it as I could. Then I’d roll in it until I smelled delightful. After that, I’d dance in my water dish the way I love, tracking dirty pawprints all over the kitchen floor. That would be a fun night!
That’s what I would do if my door weren’t properly latched.
But you know what Zeph did?
Nothing! Nothing, nothing, nothing!
He just sat there in his crate, turned around twice, and curled up.
“Zeph!” I shouted.
“Shhh! Our People said it’s time to sleep.”
“I don’t give a darn what our People said,” I told him. “Your crate door is open.”
“So that means you can escape. Run around the kitchen. Do whatever you want.”
Zeph just looked at me like I had three eyes. I don’t think a naughty thought has ever even crossed his mind. “Zeph, Zeph, Zeph!” I tried again. “Push open your door. Run around wild. It’ll be fun.”
But he just ignored me and went to sleep. In the morning, when our People came down, they saw that Zeph’s door was open, and they saw that he was still sitting inside.
“What a good boy, Zeph!” Adam said.
Zeph sat up and wagged his tail, but he STILL DIDN’T GET OUT OF HIS CRATE. In my opinion, there’s a line between “good” and “stupid.” And Zeph crossed that line. Anyway, Adam kept telling Zeph how good he was. By this time, I’d had enough, so I was clawing at my crate to get out.
“Out, out, out!” I barked.
But Adam turned to me and said, “Sapphie, Shhh!” The nerve of him!
Then he went to the cookie jar and got one cookie. Just one. I thought surely it would be for me as an apology for not leaving my crate unlatched, too. But then—Adam did the unthinkable. He walked over the Zeph’s crate—Zeph was still sitting in the crate—and gave Zeph the cookie.
“Good boy,” Adam said again. “You could have escaped and made a mess, but you didn’t.”
A cookie, for barking out loud! Zeph misses the opportunity of a lifetime, and he’s rewarded with a cookie! The injustice of it!
Well, I just thought I’d post that little incident so that the world could see how unfair things get here at the Hollinger household. Can you imagine, being rewarded for staying in a crate! Because of the injustice of it, I thought it would be nice if all of my online readers took pity on my situation and sent me a cookie. If each of you just sent me one, I’d have more cookies than I can count. You can just send them to the Hollinger household, care of “Sapphie Corgi.” I’ll make sure they get to the right place.
Anyway, I hear Zeph playing with his favorite squeaky toy. And you know what that means—it’s time for me to take it from him.
Happy Barking! And send me those cookies!
Until next time,
I’m sharing pictures of some of the characters from Corgi Capers: Deceit on Dorset Drive. These pictures were created by the fabulous Marji Cooper. Along with each picture, I’ll introduce a bit more about each character. If you enjoy these characters, be sure to check out the free short story (posted earlier in this blog) or the novel, available in print or e-book format.
My name is Zeph. I’m a Pembroke Welsh Corgi, and above all I’m a good boy.
I was the third dog to be born in our litter, and my sister was the fourth. When I found out all of us puppies were going to new homes, my father pulled me aside. He told me my sister was a rambunctious bundle of trouble, and he asked me if I would watch over her. I made sure we got adopted together, and I’ve been keeping track of her ever since. One time she found a stack of newspapers. She tried to climb it, but she ended up pulling it on top of her instead. Luckily, I was able to sniff her out in time, but watching over Sapphie is a full-time job.
Right now she’s sleeping in my rocketship bed, something that my Person, Adam, gave to me. But Sapphie likes it better than the one she has, so I let her sleep in it from time to time. It’s what a good brother would do. Besides, if I didn’t, she would just tackle me and bite my ears until I gave up.
Aside from keeping Sapphie out of trouble, my main concern is watching over my Person. His name is Adam, and he’s a good kid. He also has sister issues—his sister is almost as much of a pawful as Sapphie. My favorite thing to do is curl up at Adam’s feet as he reads something called a “comic book.” I’m named after Adam’s favorite comic book hero, outer-space Captain Logan Zephyr. But when I’m not curled up at Adam’s feet, I also like watching him play baseball—though I’m afraid of the ball… and the yelling crowd… and the strange noise made by a scary thing called an “ice cream truck”… there are some scary things out there in the world.
My other interest is language. There’s absolutely nothing scary about language, so it’s my favorite hobby. Ever since I was a puppy, I have been learning as many words as possible. They come in handy when I’m trying to figure out what Adam and his family are saying. My sister isn’t as good at language, so I have to explain things to her. All the time.
I hear Sapphie trying to sneak into the basement, so I’d better stop her before she finds trouble.
Thanks for stopping by!