Author Archives: Val Muller
Territorial Terror
When Leia and Yoda were tiny puppies, they would share everything.
When we were little, we shared everything.
As Leia has grown up, however, she has become a territorial terror, bullying and bossing around her brother. Have you had similar experiences with your multiple-dog households?
For the past few years, Leia has been crying, squealing, and pacing around any time we took her for a coveted “ride in the car.” She doesn’t seem to be carsick, and we couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her. As a little puppy, she used to curl up and go right to sleep after about five minutes of “car motion.” I was trying to think about what may have changed.
Then it hit me: as puppies, the corgis would separate themselves. Yoda would curl up on the floor behind the driver’s seat, and Leia would stretch out on the entire bench of the back seat. But then Yoda got bigger, and he no longer fit on the floor behind the driver’s seat… he had to take up part of the bench.
And that’s when Leia’s growling started.
Leia in the back seat moving so fast, growing, and whining that she is a blur in the picture! Notice Yoda is next to her on the back seat. Leia’s ears are also in a fairly distressed position.
The epiphany came to me yesterday when I took the dogs with me to the gas station. Leia was doing her usual growing, whining, squealing, and running back and forth, when Yoda did something unprecedented. The passenger seat was empty this time (it’s usually not), and Yoda jumped into the passenger seat, sat down, and curled up.
Leia quieted immediately.
When we got to the gas station, I told Yoda to go back into the back seat.
Leia started whining right away.
So all that time that I felt sorry for Leia, worried that she might be car sick… it turns out she was just trying to boss her brother, as usual. She was just trying to claim the entire back seat of the car for herself–for Leia, the growly monster, the territorial terror.
Two New Trailers Available
I’m pleased to announce two new trailers available for the Corgi Capers mystery series! For the classic summer-baseball-comic-book-puppy-loving mystery, check out Corgi Capers: Deceit on Dorset Drive:
And for a Halloween-themed adventure, check out Corgi Capers: The Sorceress of Stoney Brook:
Check out www.valmuller.com/store for holiday deals and free shipping on autographed copies!
Howl-o-what?
Leia and Yoda here. We are kind of scared, so we decided to write this blog post together.
You see, our person has been…acting weird. And who ya calling scared, brother?
Let me tell it, Leia.
Hmph!
See, our person has been acting weird. She brought home these things. They smelled like corgi toys, but they weren’t to be played with.
They were, were, were! I was about to chew on the–
No, Leia, they weren’t. They were to be… worn.
You see, Yoda doesn’t like to wear anything. Whenever I wear a Doritos bag on top of my head, he runs away and hides. Or when I wear a mud scarf around my neck and then get to wear shampoo and water… Anyway, as soon as I saw what our person brought, I knew I wanted to wear it right away. I growled at Yoda so he’d know I was claiming it: I wanted to wear the green costume.
Yes, she did. But our person told us that the green costume was for me. But it was too…scary!
Yoda, you’re not very smart. That costume is called a Yoda Costume. That’s why you were supposed to wear it.
But…but…it covered my…ears.
We couldn’t even try to get the coat on you. You were too scared. But not me. I thought it was fun, fun, fun!
There’s nothing scarier than my ears being covered.
What about foil?
W-what?
Or knocking on a door?
W-what!
Your reflection in a window?
Leia, stop!
Or crinkly dog toys?
No!
That costume was NOT the scariest thing of all. See how pretty I look in it?
Glad you liked it, then. I thought it was pretty scary.
But you were jealous, too. You were jealous when our person started taking pictures of me. You wanted to join in the fun. See, here’s a picture of you trying to sneak into MY photo session!
That’s true.
But she said if you were gonna be in the picture, you had to be wearing a costume.
I know.
So then she put the cowgirl hat on you.
CowBOY hat, you mean.
Ha! No. Cow. GIRL. Hat. It was pink. See?
So?
Everything i have is pink. My pink skull collar. My leash.
So?
So, that hat was supposed to be for me.
But…
It’s okay. I know that hat is mine just like the Yoda costume is mine, and both our dishes are mine, and all our toys are mine.
What?
After all, you were scared of the hat, too.
Was not.
Don’t lie, Yoda. I can see in this picture how you can barely hold your head up.
That’s because, um, that hat is, um… heavy.
Heavy, my left paw!
It was!
I don’t think so. Your head was drooping like that because you were scared, scared, scared!
Well…
And then our person started laughing and felt sorry for you. She took off that hat and put that stupid pumpkin shirt on you. At least your ears stood up for the picture, but I know you were scared.
How do you know?
When our person told you to sit up on the stairs for the picture, you wouldn’t move.
What do you mean?
You just sat there frozen, like you couldn’t move in that shirt.
I couldn’t! My muscles froze solid. That shirt is haunted.
It’s not, Yoda. You’re just a scaredy dog. I can’t believe our person had to LIFT you up onto the stairs while you were wearing that shirt.
Well, at least this Howl-o-ween thing is over.
Hate to tell you, brother, but it’s not over yet. And after that there are the holidays. You remember, when our people put up the–
Don’t say it!
The TREE.
No!
And they tear open wrapped gifts.
No!
And give you all kinds of new toys that you’re terrified of.
No! We have enough of those.
Maybe YOU have enough, but I can never get enough of those squeaky–
No!
bouncy–
No!
crinkly–
No!
toys!
Yoda? Yoda, where did you go?
Oh, I see. At the mention of “toys,” Yoda has fled the scene. He’s probably hiding in his little house. Ha! While he’s away, here is a picture of him last holiday season. Our people were putting a tree inside our house, and he was watching from a far distance.
Fraidy-dog Yoda hiding from the tree, of all things!
I was so close, they kept stepping on me. I can’t think of anything more fun, fun, fun! And speaking of scaredy dogs, here is a picture of a corgi-lantern our person made. It’s based on the most cowardly corgi in the universe, aka my brother.
Well, until next time, Leia Corgi signing out. Oh, and remember to send me those peanut butter treats!
The Creation of the Pen (By Courtney Hollinger)
Courtney, here. If you’ve been following my adventures in Corgi Capers, you’ll know that I’ve been going through some rough times.
But after my Halloween “incident,” I’ve decided to turn over a new leaf. I’m trying to be good. Really, I am. It’s not always easy, but my new friends are helping.
Anyway, along with trying to be good, I started doing my homework for a change. It actually isn’t that bad. Learning is kind of interesting (don’t tell my brother I admitted that, okay?). I had to write a short story for English class. We had to write a creation myth to explain the origin of something. Well, I’ve been involved in the play at school, and it’s gotten me thinking about maybe writing my own plays one day. Or maybe movie screenplays. (I would love to live out in Hollywood, and I’m sure Sapphie would, too!)
I wrote an creation myth about the origin of pens, and my teacher practically went nuts over it. She sent a note home—a good one, believe it or not!—to tell my parents what an awesome job I did. I can’t help the fact that the note brought a smile to my face. It sure made Mom and Dad go easy on me for a few days. If you’ll remember, I was basically grounded for life after all that I went through at Halloween.
Anyway, I thought I’d share my super awesome story about how the pen was created. To understand the myth, you have to know what the muses are. They’re these mythological beings that inspire people. You know, like, when you wake up in the middle of the night and have a great idea all of a sudden. Or you’re in the middle of math class and have a great idea for a play!
So here it is, the creation myth of how the pen was created:
The nine muses lived in the world above the clouds and watched the people below. Calliope, the muse of writing, watched the world become more and more modern. People were writing less and less. Calliope was upset because people were forgetting her. She wasn’t angry—just sad. She thought and thought about what to do to inspire the people below to write. So she invented the ball point pen.
It was just an ordinary piece of plastic, and the other muses mocked her. Undeterred, she summoned all her powers of inspiration and sealed them into a deep blue liquid. She put this liquid into each of the pens and sent them to the world below for distribution. Each pen contained infinite possibilities. Perhaps the net Shakespeare would pick up one of her pens.
As she grew talented at filling the pens, she experimented with different colors and consistencies. Each one she filled with the magic of her inspiration. So the next time you pick up a pen, know that it has been blessed by Calliope, the muse of writing, and has the potential to create anything you can imagine.
A Guest Post from Leia the Mouser
Leia, here. I was all set to brag about my feat this weekend involving a mouse, but my person says it wasn’t nice. She doesn’t know I’m here typing away, so keep it quiet, will ya?
So we were outside. It’s my favorite, favorite, favorite place to be when the weather’s just so, and my person was busy pulling up weeds. I had already eaten all the dirt clumps I felt like, so I needed something else to entertain me. Well, my person was pulling up some vines, and out pops a little black mouse. I’m “quick as a cat,” my person says, and before anyone knew what was happening, I had the mouse trapped under my paw. My person saw and yelled at me very loud.
“Leave it,” she screamed.
I wish I didn’t know what that means, but I do. So I had to let the mouse go.
But I’m not stupid, I tell ya. I knew my person would turn back to her weeding sure enough. She kept watching me, though. Here’s a picture of me at full alert, waiting for that stinkin’ mouse:
Well, sure enough, my person turned back to her gardening. See, I laid down in the grass so my person thought I lost interest. Stupid person. She’s so easy to train. She was trying to pull out an especially tough weed, and I knew it was my chance. I had seen where the mouse went—right into a patch of tall grass. I knew it was only a matter of time before it would try to get away. Well, let’s just say I took advantage of the opportunity.
My person turned around with a handful of weeds and saw me rolling in something. Here’s what she said, very calmly to start off:
“Leia, if you’re rolling in something that stinks, then when we get inside you’re going to get a—Ahhh! Leia, that’s a dead mouse you’re rolling in! Stop that! Stop it now! Leave it! Leave it! Leave it!”
Like I said, I know what “leave it” means, but I could tell my person wasn’t going to come too close. Hearing all the noise, my brother had already run toward the house, and my person was running toward the house, too, saying something about getting a shovel, a towel, and a bottle of soap. I had about forty seconds all to myself, and I made the most of it. I wish my person had taken a picture—she takes a picture of just about everything I do, but she said she didn’t want to get this one on film.
Well, out she comes with her friend, a shovel, a towel, and some soap, and I knew my fun was over.
I tried to go up and say hi to her friend, but he just shook his head and called me a little murderer and a terror!
A terror?
Hmph!
I’d like to see him catch a mouse with his bare paws–err, hands, that is.
Anyway, the mouse was shoveled into a compost bag, the soap was deployed, and I suffered the indignity of getting an outdoor bath—in front of all the neighbors!—with a cold, harsh hose. The nerve!
I showed her. As soon as she finished washing me, I wiped all that nasty water off on a pile of potting soil.
Then I got another bath!
I’m telling you, it just wasn’t worth it.
Just kidding, it was.
Uh oh, my person is coming. You didn’t read this, okay? But if you did happen to read it, and enjoyed it, feel free to send me a cookie. My favorite are peanut butter flavored. My address is Leia Corgi, PO Box—oops, gotta run!
Corgi Capers Updates
The Corgi Move: An Update
Since I last checked in, the corgis were getting adjusted to their new home. Now that they’ve had time to settle in, here is an update.
First, the corgis finally seem like they know this is “home.” It took a while—it was at least two months before they would actually sleep in their beds. Here they are in the bed in my writing office:
Prior to that, they had to be glued to my feet during every waking hour. Still, they don’t like being alone when I’m home. Every weekend, they wake me up earlier than I get up during the week—just to be able to sleep while I’m downstairs with them. (Either that, or they’re trying to tell me I should be up writing rather than sleeping!). Here’s a picture of Leia just moments after crying pathetically to get me out of bed:
“I wasn’t ready to wake up yet. I just didn’t want to sleep without you!”
Secondly, Yoda, the fraidy-dog, is still—well, afraid. He’s not super bright, and he’s gotten “lost” a few times in the house. We have a double stairway—a front staircase and a back one. Yoda has a habit of sneaking into the dining room, which is gated off on only one door. He sits at the gate, staring into the kitchen, and acts forlorn that he cannot get through the gate. His sister has to run around the long way and “get” him for me.
The other day, he snuck into the dining room, couldn’t figure out how to get back, and ended up going up one staircase, getting “lost” in the upstairs hallway, barking his “distress bark,” and finally finding his way down the back staircase. The house isn’t that big, but like I said—Yoda is good, but not too bright. His favorite activities in the new house include sniffing all the air vents in the floors and rolling his back against the bottom stair in the family room.
There are a few empty boxes I’ve saved because the corgis still love to sleep in them. Here’s a picture of them after a long, hard morning of chasing the green laser around:
“We have a tough life!”
Leia, on the other hand, has been more mischievous. She is giving Corgi Capers character Sapphie a run for her money. Slowly, Leia has been sneaking upstairs (they aren’t allowed on the second floor of the house to prevent back injuries from excessive stair use) to “mark” each of the rooms upstairs. She only has two left to “mark.” The thing is, she knows she isn’t supposed to pee on the floor, and as soon as she does it, she runs down and claws at me, crying, so that I know she was bad. I guess the dogs that used to live in this house have left their scents, and it must be driving Leia crazy.
One of Leia’s favorite activities is to visit with the frogs and toads that frequent our patio once the sun goes down. Here’s a picture of her with the largest of her buddies:
Their invisible fence training is going well. Scared-y Yoda is terrified of the “warning beep” made by the fence, and he won’t go even halfway to the edge of his boundary. If I go too far, he turns his back to me, sits, and stares at the house. Out of sight, out of mind, I suppose. Leia will test the boundaries all the way up to the “zap.” The beeping warning does not compute in her mind—she doesn’t associate it with the zap. And she has allowed herself to be zapped a few times to chase a deer or two. She seems to be calming down now.
Lots of fodder for Corgi Capers book 3, which is in the works. Because I’m slightly behind schedule, I’m leaving my “name that cat contest” open for a bit longer. Be part of Corgi Capers history and name a human or feline character:
Speaking of which—to encourage more readers to post reviews, I am offering a free Kindle copy of Corgi Capers book 2 for anyone who posts a review of Corgi Capers book 1 on Amazon. To receive your free book, simply email me the URL of your Amazon.com review, using the email address you use to shop on Amazon. I’ll send you a copy of Corgi Capers book 2 in hopes that if you enjoy it, you’ll leave a review for that book as well.
Thanks for reading. Stay cool, and stay corgi!
Corgi Capers Kindle books now on sale!
DWB Publishing has just announced that its ebooks will all be on sale. The Corgi Capers series books are now on sale for just $2.99 per Kindle edition. You can buy them here.
Corgi Capers: Deceit on Dorset Drive is a summer-themed mystery starring Adam Hollinger, a fifth-grader bent on finding the serial burglar that has been ruining the neighborhood. He’s got the help of his loyal corgi Zeph, Zeph’s rambunctious sister, Sapphie, and Adam’s “tween” sister, Courtney.
The Halloween-themed Corgi Capers: The Sorceress of Stoney Brook continues Adam’s adventures. Now the star pitcher of his baseball team, Adam wants to focus on winning the All-Star championships. But new neighbors have moved in, and although no one else believes him, Adam is convinced that they are witches. While trying to prove his case, he also discovers that his sister Courtney has been hanging out with the wrong crowd–and has a scary prank planned for Adam and his friends.
To celebrate, I’m offering a free Kindle copy of either Corgi Capers book (winner chooses) to the first person to email me with the subject “Corgi Capers!” Please include your Amazon email address and your preference–either Book 1 or Book 2–in your email.
As always… Happy Reading!
The Moving Chronicles: Part 4
It’s been over a month since the move, and the corgis have been settling in slowly. When we first moved in, they were on their very best behavior. Here is a picture of them on the very first morning in the new house. They had been there but ten minutes and already seemed to know they were not allowed upstairs, just like in the townhome.
Seemed is a key word.
At the vet’s recommendation, we try to limit the amount of stairs the corgis conquer each day (because of potential back problems—their father broke his leg and injured his back doing the corgi version of acrobatics). When I went upstairs to unpack some boxes, they stayed without any physical restraint, patiently waiting for me to return.
We are being good dogs!
It wasn’t a day later that Leia was doing laps around the house, up one staircase and down the next. Yoda, good as always, stayed put. We soon acquired three child safety gates to keep her downstairs during the move.
Next, the sleeping arrangements. At the old house, the corgis had a very large, open kitchen that could be easily gated from the rest of the house via a large safety gate. The floor, vinyl, was easily cleaned, and Leia’s slopping around in the water dish (she dips her paws while she drinks if we’re not watching) didn’t cause any problems. Because the new house has a very different layout, there was no large, cleanable space available. The only choices: crate the corgis or let them have the run of (most of) the downstairs floor.
We decided to trust them, and for three nights, they proved that they would sleep all night in their beds, spend time when people were away in the kitchen, and not go on furniture or anywhere else they weren’t allowed.
Or so I thought.
One morning, I decided to sneak downstairs quickly and snap a picture before the dogs had time to react. Note that each morning, Leia had been sleeping next to her brother, either on the floor or in her dog bed. But here is what the picture proved:
Yes, Leia is a sneak. She had been sleeping on the couch and jumping off when she heard me getting ready upstairs. You would think the solution would be to crate them at night, but no–as cute as they are, the solution was just to make sure I covered the couch really well with the blanket next time 🙂
For a few days, the corgis enjoyed the new house without incident (unless you count Leia puking twice on the nice, stainless carpets an incident). Leia seemed comfortable almost right away:
I love watching the world upside-down!
Yoda, still afraid of everything, followed his sister around and watched everything from a distance. After watching Leia “help” to unpack books twice, Yoda decided finally to help:
Who needs books when you have us?!
Inside the house, the corgis had settled in nicely. But outside… a whole new world.
The new house has a very large yard, and it’s only fenced in by a horse fence–a corgi could easily escape. It also came with an invisible fence. But when we first moved in, the corgis seemed hesitant, staying only very close to the house or to me. They’d previously lived only in a townhome with a tightly-fenced, small yard. This was a big change for them. I thought I’d cut them a break and not train them on the invisible fence just yet. We were scheduled to go away for a week (the corgis were staying with their dog cousin Buster), and I decided to commence training after we returned. But once again, adventurous Leia spoiled those plans. One morning, at dark:thirty, Leia lit out after a group of deer about a quarter mile away. Sharing her excitement, Yoda followed her. I screamed at them, of course, and Yoda stopped almost immediately, plopping on his back so I could put his leash back on. Leia did not stop.
You’ll understand why I don’t have a picture!
Though Leia will listen indoors, when she’s outside, she is distracted by anything. I was screaming her name, shouting any tone I could think of–anger, fear, control, calm–and nothing got through to her. She was feral. It wasn’t until she hit the treeline two yards down (and the deer disappeared into the woods) that she turned around, realized she was being called, and ran back. She ducked under the fence and immediately plopped onto her back in ultimate submission. I didn’t yell at her, but she knew I was mad. All that morning, she followed me around the house, cuddling as much as possible. I’m telling you: it’s impossible to stay mad at Leia.
Still, it necessitated an earlier-than-expected invisible fence training. And that will be the subject of the last of the moving chronicles. See you next time.
The Moving Chronicles (Part 3)
It’s getting very close to the move, now, and even the functional items have started to be boxed. And the corgis…
…are not happy at all.
This morning, as I was taping up boxes, I found them hiding in their crates:
This is what we do now… sit ‘n watch ‘n wonder about all these boxes. We feel safest in our crates, though. Will you pack us, too?
Then tonight, while watching TV to try to relax, I was attacked by clingy corgis. I guess they wanted to make sure I wasn’t leaving them… (Leia never clings like this except in the dead cold of winter!)
If we surround her, she can’t go anywhere without us!
I wish there was some way to tell dogs what is happening. Then maybe they wouldn’t be so freaked out. As I type, they are right near me on the floor, watching. Always watching.
But don’t worry, corgis… when the time comes to move, I’ll make sure I pack you, too!
The Moving Chronicles (Part 2)
The dogs continue to think “something’s up.” Their kitchen is quickly becoming a cardboard castle, with boxes stacking up. Yoda follows me around. Even in the 90 + degree heat wave we’re having, he sits on my lap as often as possible (yes, even outdoors) to make sure I don’t go anywhere.
When the movers come, and when we first get to the new house, I’m going to have to close him in his crate, where he feels most safe in the world (aside from on my lap).
In other news, I have been researching invisible fences. The house comes with an invisible fence, which I think might be a better option than putting up chicken wire around the fence of a five-acre lot. It looks like the key to training dogs is to instill in them a sense of fear of the fence–to lead them up to the fence (marked by flags for now) but then lead them away with a sense of urgency or even fear in one’s voice. Since Yoda is afraid of everything, this might not be too hard to do.
The corgis in “feral mode”
The corgis in “civilized mode”
I just wonder… the corgis sometimes go into “feral mode.” When they see an animal or hear a dog getting agitated, they go nuts, sometimes attacking each other or biting on their leashes if they are on a walk, and for a while they stop listening to me. I look in their eyes, and they are in full-on hunter/herder mode. Then, as quickly as it started, they look back at me and become civilized again. But I wonder: if they go into “feral mode” with an invisible fence, is even the threat of a correction from the collar enough to stop their natural instinct?
Has anyone had experience with this? I’ve heard nothing but good things about invisible fences (in terms of keeping dogs confined–not keeping other things out), but I’m skeptical. In any case, I get to try it in about a week!
Corgi Capers 