Yoda on Christmas Trees
So, there’s this really scary thing… the Big Scary. It glows, and it’s big, and it has these scary shiny things all over it, and it seems like it never goes away!
I don’t understand. It looks like a tree, but it isn’t real, and I certainly can’t pee on it (I’m much too scared to even try). Almost as scary are all the big plastic tubs that emerge when the Big Scary comes. One of them smells like pine cones, and another smells like cinnamon. And they have these frightening jingly things in them. I hate when my Person takes out the boxes. The only thing they’re good for is hiding behind. But they don’t stay out as long as the Big Scary. And when the boxes go away, I have nowhere to hide.
Which is what I do pretty much the whole time my person is decorating the Big Scary.
Even worse is the fact that my sister likes to explore the Big Scary. She’s always nosing around the packages underneath. Often she gets yelled at for knocking round shiny things off the Big Scary. And when she gets yelled at, I’m the one who gets upset. She tells me that one of the packages under the Big Scary smells like bacon treats, but I don’t buy that at all. But since I’m her big brother, I have to watch her and make sure she’s okay… as much as it terrifies me. So I watch her from on top of the stairs. I just keep real quiet, though. That way the Big Scary can’t hear me. My Person tells me I need to relax, but I don’t understand how anyone can be relaxed with a Big Scary decorating their living room!
Last year, the Big Scary eventually went away. But it took a long, long time. Maybe if I keep watching it, I can make it leave. Until then, we’ll all just have to be careful. Seasons Greetings, and I hope you never wake to find a Big Scary in your house.
Editor’s Note: Yoda is the kind-hearted, but hesitant, corgi inspiration behind the character Zeph in the Corgi Capers mystery series.